Daniel's Outlook On Life

There comes a time when you officially enter the threshold of your mid-20s, it was something I never realized I was even a part of until I had to check the 24-27 box at Whitman-Walker. I could have sworn that being 24 meant that I had one year left to celebrate about not being consoled for dealing with my quarter-life crisis, that I continued to think I was not entitled to. I had one year left to make mistakes and not own up to them or go to these networking events, when I was just really there for the free booze. All of that was gone.

I immediately put myself under this dark cloud of shame that I deemed worthy for my lack of not being where I wanted to be in this time of my life. I remember having this pit of disgust with my life choices and how every step I needed to pursue my career was not in my favor. It made me doubt why I am even pursuing this path and maybe moving across the country to pursue this is may not be for me. I mean I am 24, so I should have complete control over my life. Right?

After going to Trader Joe’s for the insanely cheap wine and dark chocolate almonds I did what any gay would do in a crisis— watch the Emmys. The Emmys have always had a special place in my heart growing up as a closeted gay but an open lover of all things television. I was became particularly invested when the nominations for Outstanding Writing in a Comedy Series were being presented when I remembered Master of None’s Thanksgiving episode written by Lena Waithe and Aziz Ansari were included. This episode centered around Waithe’s character Denise and coming out to her family over a series of Thanksgiving dinners. This specific episode elevated a black queer women’s story that shared universal experiences of the acceptance we have with our family and within ourselves. Waithe not only won her first Emmy that night but made history for being the first black women to win in a Comedy Writing category which now has been in tears as I write this. In her standing ovation speech she lastly had to thank “My LGBTQIA family. I see each and every one of you. The things that make us different, those are our superpowers.” When I heard this it made me sob into my chocolate covered almonds because she knew exactly what we all are feeling at this moment in our lives. She was there too. She felt the constant pit in her stomach and the fears in her head but she persisted. She knew her greatness and held onto that dream tight enough to squeeze an Emmy within her fingers at the age of 33.

So the takeaway from my story is this—it is more than okay to not know where you are going in life and still enjoy it all. It is within these moments we embrace the challenges that will prepare us for the real purpose in our lives. Maybe what we’re pursuing at this very moment does not align with our career in the future but the lessons we take from these side jobs here and there will ultimately shape us into the person we want to become. It is only the beginning for Lena Waithe, the black queer girl from South Side of Chicago, just as much it is our start to find our own beginnings.

- Daniel